Living Abroad,  Poetry

On Physics and Longing

I am a Physicist so I trust me when I tell you:
I do understand some of the most complex behaviors in the Universe.

You think him liking your photo has nothing to with Physics.
But you see, taking and uploading that photo is an action you make.
To him, you and your spontaneous smile are not a fake.
“Damn, she is gorgeous!”, he thinks and
the button “like” instantly clicks.
You act – he reacts.
Action and reaction – that is Newton’s third law.

Days are passing by and time folds and unfolds in front of our eyes.
We say we live in three dimensional World,
forgetting that merely the concept of time
enables these three dimensions to thrive.
So, Einstein came and said time should not be treated differently than space,
and since I am living in this vast Universe with you
I am dedicating my most precious gift to you:
moments of my life that are never to return.
You see, sometimes the hours with you feel like minutes
and the seconds without you feel like days.
Because, now we know, everything is relative.

I grasp the idea that those mornings when I wake up and
see your face on your pillow
is because light interacts with matter
and this brightens not only your superbly perfect facial features,
but also my day.

I notice that sometimes when we fight
our hearts beat with different frequencies,
only until we hug and kiss
and you whisper “I’m sorry”
and I whisper “I know, so am I”.
And just like that, our heartbeats and breaths
synchronize again.
I can feel my clenched muscles relaxing,
my brain signals switching to current values
that do not electrify my nerves
as arguing with you does.

Physics also explains why two massive bodies attract
and why the larger the distance between them
the lesser the attraction.
So you see, I understand me being abroad is not easy for either of us,
but I still cannot find a physical law to explain myself
why not having you around
hurts so much.

Which Physical concepts explain the feeling of longing?
Like when I open my eyes after my alarm clock rings
and the first thing I do is
move my hand over the sheets,
longing for you,
looking for you
imagining I caress you?

The sadness comes afterwards,
merely the realization that you are a memory,
images imprinted in my brain,
same as physical laws imprinted that first photograph he liked.

And all of this knowledge
makes it neither easier
nor more bearable
the fact you stayed and waved,
rather melancholically,
and I left and turned my back to you,
rather firmly.

And Physics makes progress,
now we understand behaviors we did not understand before
and I start to hope that maybe,
just maybe,
just little bit,
I will one day understand:
why did I lose you?

And if I do understand why I’ve lost you,
will Physics be able to investigate and
how will it explain that
although I’ve lost you,
I’ve never felt closer to you?


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